5. When speaking of mundane matters, talk to your readers in a tone resembling that which you would employ if speaking to a small kindergarten-aged child. Refer to said readers as "kids, kiddos, comrades, fellow, folks, children" ... or any other equally amusingly young seeming term. This tactic, without fail, places a sparkling crown on the head of any Snark Queen.
4. Create much-too-long-to-be-close-to-grammatically-correct-hyphenated-phrases to describe people, matters, or things that could alternatively be described in one simple word.
3. Post incessant sarcastic e-cards in the confines of your personal social media network. There's nothing like a sarcastically witty e-card to seal the snark cap.
2. Make amusing written observations about mundane human behavior patterns... whether they are indeed amusing or not. For it's not reality that matters, folks, it's how it's recorded. (Note the use of #5 here).
1. If you want to be snarky, self-describe yourself as such. Say it enough, and one day, it will stick.
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