Summer Musings

Hi Bunnies -

Sorry for being so MIA as of late. I suck. And I totally know that. But I felt obligated to write something today, to, you know, get the snarky juice flowing again. The well has been running a little dry. Ahem. But I'm changing that now. So here are some random thoughts, musings, and matters of confusion on summer in the city. A moderate re-entry back into B-loguing but alas. Here you go:

1. Female attire. I totally get there's a clear societal norm that men have to wear pants and shirts year-round, even in the sweltering heat. Is this a huge gender-biased injustice? You bet. But okay, that is just the way it is. What I totally DON'T get is why some girls, and you know who you are, ladies, insist on donning themselves in much-too-much-heat-inducing clothing during the ninety-degree-plus-I-can't-even-breathe-let-alone-imagine-wearing-more-than-a-flimsy-sundress weather. I mean really, now, ladies, tights? I'm going to go out on a limb and say if you're wearing a skirt today, your legs will be just fine on their own. And sweaters? On the subway nonetheless? I suppose some things I just will never understand.

2. People who sit in Central Park. I realize by stating that this "recreational" activity is confusing / boring / gross puts me at risk for being labeled a "fake" New Yorker. Central Park is, like, a Manhattan landmark and all, yeah yeah, I know. But do all Manhattanites actually think that? Or are they just conforming to the what-we've-all-come-to-adopt-as-New-York-normal standards? I am inclined to believe the latter. I just simply cannot believe that hundreds of thousands of people actually enjoy sitting on benches or, even worse, on the dewy, bug-infested grass, sweating through their clothing for hours on end, with no pool or respite in sight. I understand there's a contingent of crunchy park-lovers out there and all. Really I do. But are they truly all living in NYC? Perhaps next time I venture to the area to ahem, visit Bloomingdales, I will stroll over and take a poll. But rest assured, you will not find me chillin' in the grass when I'm done.

3. Going to rooftop bars when it's ninety degrees or more. Believe me when I say I adore a good rooftop bar. There is totally nothing like standing hundreds of feet above the smallest big city in the world and feeling like it's all just a blip on the world's radar while casually sipping a chilled glass of bubbly. Who wouldn't love a scenario as grand as that? But. But. But. While I find said activity more than pleasant under normal climate conditions, the mere thought of doing so once temperatures have exceeded 85* is enough to send me straight back to my couch. Seriously, kids, is there really a point to standing up there getting pushed, shoved and mangled by smelly, sweaty strangers while incessantly trying to wipe the sweat from your brow to no avail... just to say you "did the rooftop thing"? I'm going to go with no on this one. But that's just me.

4. People who order hot coffee. Really? When there's an equally-caffeinated iced version readily offered and available? I think I've said enough on that one.

And that's all for now, kiddos. Until later, stay smiling, keep cool and steer clear of the subway!