- The coffee/espresso machine blank stare phenomenon. I've noticed that inevitably, each and every single time I make a trip to the coffee machine to brew a much-needed afternoon espresso, there is a very-confused-looking fellow employee standing there staring at the machine as if it were a recently landed alien from space. Why, yes, colleague, that is indeed an espresso machine. The same one that was here yesterday, the day before that and the day before that. If you want an espresso, just hit start. Really, I promise. If you've never had an espresso before, why are you starting now?
- I've made mention of this one before but it's just so bothersome that I feel warranted in a re-mention. The office-peek-in. Door closed. Phone call taking place. Head in hands. Could not look busier, more disturbed or agitated if I tried. And yet still... always those heads that peek their way through the violatingly clear glass on my door. The words "you busy" silently conveyed through that ever-so-not-subtle head peek. Could I BE any busier if I tried? #peeksomewhereelse
- The constant getter-uppers. Okay seriously, you walk by my office every 5 minutes every day of every week. Did you not just visit the bathroom a mere sixty seconds ago? Is there more leftover food in the kitchen now than there was five minutes ago? Have you ever heard of that thing called telecommunicating? Really now, I know we all strive for more face-to-face communications in this overly digital age but really now. For the love of G-d, send an email every now and again.
- ...and my very favorite of this month. The office e-cigarette smoker(s). Okay, folks, while I understand that blu e-cigs "don't contain nicotine, just vapor" and it's, like, technically "okay" to smoke them indoors, have we really come to a time where it's societally acceptable to chain suck away on a blu nicotine vaporizer in the midst of a highly important meeting in a conference room of 20+ people? Pardon me if I've missed that memo but last I checked, we haven't. Seriously, comrade(s), let's take this whole "ok to use indoors" thing with a grain of kosher salt and keep the e-cig OUTSIDE of the conference room. K?
Check back for more amusing office quandaries to come soon. Cheerio.