- When sidewalk pedestrians walkkkkkk theeeeeeeeee pacccccccccceeeeee offf freaking TURTLES while inevitably performing some other simultaneous behavior that does not need to be performed during said slow walk. The simultaneous behaviors usually include but are not limited to the following: having a phone or in-person conversation, staring blankly at the window display adjacent to them, painstakingly typing a mobile email with one finger (I mean really, who types with one finger anyway), or multiple other variations on the aforementioned behaviors. People, you are seriously hindering my pace with your unnecessary slowness. I beg you, please, take a card from the majority of New Yorkers and adopt the typical I-must-get-to-my-destination-five-minutes-ago-if-not-less attitude and GET A MOVE ON.
- When sidewalk pedestrians commit the worst affront of all, incrementally more detrimental than the first one mentioned above... the mid-sidewalk stop. I'm walking behind you, perhaps slower than I'd wish for but hey, at least we're moving. You're walking, I'm walking, I'm walking and then... boom! Abrupt stop. Really? You just stopped mid-stride when obviously, there is a whole flow behind you that is totally dependent on traffic continuity. While it may be a foot lane, people, this is still a lane and you best stop blocking it!
- While the following peeve may be shared by most, I still wish to share it. This particular peeve occurs on mass transit vehicles, most notably the subway and the bus and it is when fellow transit riders choose to speak, typically in a very loud volume, on their mobile devices about matters that I, along with everyone else around them, definitely do not care to hear about. I mean, while I think it's swell that your 8-year-old is the smartest in his class, a prodigy in fact, and I appreciate that you're, like, totally not sure what to wear to your interview, do you think maybeeeee you could either a) limit that conversation to a few sentences or, b) gasp, save it for once you exit this mass transit vehicle? Sorry for that terribly long run-on but I felt it necessary. Grammar does not apply to pet peeves. Shocking statement from me, I know, I know. But yeah, enough. K, thanks.
- This peeve is in direct relation to the previous peeve but yet also distinct in its own right. When fellow gym-goers insist on conducting full conversations while on the treadmill, the stairmaster, and/or any other piece of gym equipment. I mean, while I do give the folks a dose of credit for being able to engage in serious cardio and carry on a full dialogue without totally losing their breath or falling off the machine (those people are definitely better multitaskers than me), I don't enjoy when the drone of their inane convo trumps my much-more-motivating-in-ear beats. Sheesh, if I can't hear that techno playlist pumped all the way up, ya think you might need to lower your voice? Just a thought.
That wraps up the peeves du jour and du weekend. I am confident that Peeves 2.0 will arrive in the near future so don't stray too far, Bunnies! Have a marvelous Monday and don't forget to keep walking!