Dear Digital Targeting,
I wanted to write you an open and honest letter, just, you know, to tell you about my appreciation for your awesomeness... and also for a few times you embarrassed me. As a whole, targeting, I really really like you. It makes me so happy inside that we are friends. I think you are uber-smart and accurate, sometimes to the point of intrusively creepy even. But forget that creepy part, usually my perception of you is just that you are so cool, so cutting edge and of the moment. You never fall behind. I love how you know what I'm thinking without me even having to tell you, how you know what I want before I even ask for it, and how you totally get my weird likes. It's really awesome. You make me feel okay for being who I am, in all my weirdness.
I love how you're always there for me, Targeting, no matter where I go. You're there for me on Facebook, on Twitter, on Gmail and everywhere else I'd ever deign to venture. I never feel alone, for I know you will always be there waiting for me with all the things I'd ever want. You know my favorite designers, my favorite shows, my favorite foods, the calories that I want to consume on a daily basis, the gym I go to (and even the classes!!), where I buy my coffee and how I like it... and that's only a start. I am so comforted having you by my side.
I also wanted to share a few occasions in which you, um, sort of embarrassed me, too. There was this one time when my client came into my office and you told her that I spend a lot of time looking at jewelry during the day when really, I shouldn't be doing that during work hours. That's okay, though, Targeting, she got over it and so did I. Lucky for me, she's funny. Then there was this other time when you made my husband think I was a big ole lesbian. Oh no, wait, that's every day. I know I like Orange is the New Black and also the L Word, and a few lezzy-esque movies I guess, too, but that time when you told him in big bold letters that there were LESBIAN suggestions waiting for me... that embarrassed me, Targeting, and I found it only fair I tell you to balance all the positive things I shared.
In summary, Targeting, you're swell, you're smart, and you're just, well, cool. So, don't change (unless you get even cooler which you seem to do every day anyway!) and keep on keeping me company. Till we meet again soon, see you out there on the interwebs.
All my love,