Friday, April 12, 2013

10 Reasons Taylor Swift Makes Me Want to Poke My Eyes Out

10. That "squeaky clean" thing isn't valid once your list of exes/hook-ups has surpassed ten. Sorry TSwizz.

9. Those bangs. Ick.

8. The lyrics to every single one of her songs resemble the speech patterns of my thirteen year old LA-inhabiting cousin. To be clear, that is not a compliment.

7. Her dance moves during awards season, particularly on the Grammy's when the cameras insisted on panning to her during actual quality songs, scarred me for life.

6.  The cool factor of Diet Coke just decreased dramatically.

5.  When she tries to make that pouty, I'm-seducing-the-camera-face that looks more like she's in serious pain or constipated.

4.  Why do her arms always seem to be limplessly hanging or flailing about in the air?

3.  The fact that, to my serious chagrin, the hummed sentence "we are never ever ever getting back together" inevitably enters my brain roughly once per day. Damn you, Pandora.

2. We get it, you were a nerd and are stilllll insecure. Yawn.

1.  Her favorite and ONLY topic she has to discuss is herself.