Thursday, November 7, 2013

Made Up Media Words Take 2

After much anticipation (er, not really, a whopping 48 hours), Made Up Media Words Take 2 has arrived. Enjoy media muffins.

  • Net net. I feel this is the perfect entracte to MUMW 2.0 given its daily frequency of use. I enjoy the net net, otherwise known as the double net (oh wait no, I just made that up as I type but it's cute right?) greatly, particularly given the total unnecessary-ness of the word repetition. I am not certain as to why us media folk feel the need to repeat that tiny little word twice in the same breath. I suppose it's to ensure our end point slash (net) takeaway is totally, fully, and emphatically clear. Because one net would most certainly not be sufficient to do so. But net - this double word is a clear favorite.
  • Please Advise. Perhaps my #2 favorite after "aligned" - it's a close second though. Please advise is undoubtedly the rudest sign-off one could choose to employ at email end. The "please advise" far trumps the "great thanks" in its sarcastic condescension. Ending an email with "please advise" indicates a total and complete failure on the part of the email recipient. Example: "I asked you for GRP's. You sent me dollars. Please advise." Translation: "You are a total fucking moron who did not understand a word I said nor remotely grasp what I requested of you. "Please advise me on your stupidity" would be a better and more accurately stated sign-off.
  • Parallel Path. Thanks, Mr. Meyerson, for bringing this ultimate classic to my attention. See, I told you you'd get a shout-out. Don't doubt the B-logue. In any case, the parallel path is perhaps another one of those non-media-exclusive greats but one that bridges several industries because it is just that awesome. The parallel path is great because it allows the person doing the path-ing to do work while said person waits for another undoubtedly slow-as-hell person to finish what he/she is doing. Example: "I know you don't have that time-sensitive information I asked for two weeks ago yet but of course that's not your fault. (sighing). We can parallel path, though, until you get it. I'll do the entire deck and just leave that one sentence that I need info for blank until you have it. K?" Parallel pathing is totally self-centric -- no one chooses the parallel path out of want but rather as a time-saving necessity so, you know, balls don't get dropped.
  • Excellent segway to the next one. Drop the ball. Yet another non-media-exclusive. That seems to be the theme today. But while not media-only, the dropping of the proverbial ball is definitely deserving of mention in MUMW 2.0 in my opinion. After all, I wouldn't want to miss the boat, over-promise and under-deliver, or G-d forbid, drop the ball on my own blog post!
  • Level set. I suppose I should have called this post Made Up Business Words instead of Made Up Media Words but, um, you know, I only do media sooo...  Anyway, I love a good level set. It's totally and utterly essential to level set when things are starting to spin out of total control. Us media folks have to keep those reigns tight and make absolutely certain that levels are being set. For some reason, I get the sense Jesse Pinkman would enjoy a bad-ass level set as well. "Let's level set here, BITCH." It just feels so right.

Well, in an effort to leave room for the possible MUMW Take 3, I'm going to leave it at that this evening. Thanks for checking back in on my snackable content, media muffins. Circle on back with me soon for more ever-amusing Made Up Media Words. Great thanks!!

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