Monday, December 2, 2013

Top 10 Worst things about Post-Tgiv Monday

10. Since my family is always traveling to some domestically exotic, er maybe not exotic but certainly domestic, destination for the family-centric holiday that is Thanksgiving, I inevitably return to my own abode late Sunday night. Yeah, yeah, I know Tgiv is by far the busiest travel weekend of, like, ever, but what can you do right? It's a 52-year tradition, gotta roll with it. But alas, post-Tgiv Monday work may as well be 7 hours of open-eyed napping. Zero. Productivity. Had.

9. Tight clothes. Ew. Don't get me wrong, I love a good family gorge fest even when it stretches for 5+ days. Totally love waking up and going down to a breakfast buffet that is incrementally larger than anyone could even need for dinner and downing a dinner-size meal at 9a, then repeating at 5p. Aligned with that. But just ugh, putting on that first work outfit post-gorge... I'll pass.

8. Turkey brain. Well, actually, I'm not certain if it's turkey brain, family brain, or just I-don't-want-to-adapt-to-work-again brain but somehow this post-vacay Monday is one of the worst in the books. It just won't turn on.

7. The need to socialize with anyone other than family members. Enough said there.

6. Office ghost town. Now, listen, I don't mind a nice quiet day in the office when roughly half of my colleagues are MIA, really I don't. What better way to fuel productivity than a quiet office where no one will distract you from the many items on your to-do list, right? Well, yeah, except for today. As we established, my brain is not functioning anyway so the quiet is just making me painfully more aware of my LACK of productivity. And the emptiness only serves to make me mad that I didn't take today off too. Dammit, what was I thinking? I could be on my couch as we speak. Fail, Rachel, fail!!

5. Facebook. I'm oftentimes as guilty of it as anyone but as if my FB weren't annoying enough to begin with, today is a particular breed of annoying. Heyyy, look, it's my kid in a turkey suit. Heyyyy, look, I made this stuffing from scratch!  Heyyyy all, check out my Turkey Trot time! I win because I ran while you all ate! Well, la dee da. Whoop dee doo. Good for you.

4. Cyber Monday. We get it, there are sales on the interwebs. Anything else new out there? Buehler?

3. Just waking up in general. But bed is soooo comfortable, my suitcase is laying innocently still packed on the floor waiting for some good unpackage. Why must I get out of bed and leave my apartment at allll? Please don't make me.

2. Incessant diet talk. "Ugh, too much food, I am doing a juice cleanse." "Blech, way too many carbs and fat, I'm eating raw veggies for the next year and a half." "I'm gross, no booze until I'm 40."  K, right, whatever y'all say. I wish you luck with that... until tomorrow.

1. The fact that the next Tgiv now won't take place for 363 days. Womp womp.

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